|Artwork by Matti Freeman|
“Not sure you can love “everyone.” It is something that you feel for a few, not the many. Consideration or regard for all seems appropriate though.”
Any investigation starts with the right Questions, and this statement definitely opens up some questions like:
Why does this feeling exist in relation to ‘only a few’?
What do the few toward whom I experience this feeling mean to me / represent to me / stand as to me in my world? What do the ‘many’ represent / mean to me?
I’m going to start by answering these questions, through looking at how I had previously experienced ‘Love’ within my own life / experience:
There are particular people in my immediate world. These people accept me, they agree with me, they support me in the things I like and the things I want to do, and they are concerned with my well being and health.
I need such people in my world. If they were injured or died or removed from my world, I would be alone and I would feel lonely, I would feel bad. It is not normal to just be with myself, alone with what I experience inside myself. I know this because since I was young, I experienced fear when I was alone, or when something painful would happen, or when I would get lost and not know where I am, or when I would get sick and feel physically uncomfortable and be unsure of what is happening, and there has always been someone there to tell me I’m okay and comfort me and touch me and reassure me.
We have a mutual agreement to make sure we help each other feel safe and good and avoid saying or doing things that make each other react or get scared or mad, etc. Because of this mutual agreement we are both safe from that which we fear – which is to be alone with only ourselves and with all the discomfort and pain and uncertainties that come along from time to time.
We don’t want to be alone with only ourselves in this world because this is a painful and often uncomfortably reality / world, and there are many difficult and often unpleasant things to do like finding ways to make money to survive, paying bills, avoiding physical harm, coping with illness and disease, avoiding becoming a victim of possible crimes or violence, or bullying, etc – and when we tell each other we are special, and that we need each other, and that we appreciate each other – then we feel good, there is a fuzzy sensation within our physical bodies — and we call this sensation ‘Love’. We value this feeling / sensation we call ‘Love’ above everything else because — in this world where so many things bring up a reaction of fear, or anxiety, or confusion, or uncertainty, or pain, or discomfort — when we come together and tell each other / remind each other that we need each other and are special to each other — then the Fuzzy sensation / feeling appears again and — ahhh, what a relief — I have ‘LOVE’ – I am ‘Loved’. I have someone to ‘Love’.
Now, I don’t feel / experience this ‘love’ toward everyone, no. Only those in my immediate world – my immediate relationships because — I don’t have a connection with the other people in this world – I’ve never met them, and they don’t play a role in my daily life of doing and saying things and being there for me in a way that helps me stay safe from my fears.