Is is possible to have a relationship with someone that is not based on self interest, that is not based on needs, wants, and desires and fantasies, and actually can stand as a partnership through which two human beings can move more effectively in taking responsibility for this world and actually support each other to reach their full expression without ever having to compromise, always able to resolve any conflict / disagreement that arises with an outcome that is best for all Life? Yes. That’s what I’ve learned so far in walking my Agreement for a little over a year.
Relationships as they are currently accepted / defined in this world are where two beings come together in Self Interest to support each other’s characters of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, fears, opinions, ideas, beliefs that constitute the personality / self definitions of the person. And how do we know Relationships in this world are of Self Interest? Because no one is presenting and implementing a practical solution to end abuse in this world, no one is presenting an example of a practical way to live with each other to always come to an outcome that is best for all.
Now, everyone knows that in a Relationship, you can only have stability if you come to a compromise between both of your Self Interests, where you set up Rules and restrictions and conditions based on what each must say and do / not say and not do, in order to avoid conflict situations and always have both partners ‘feeling good’. Which isn’t really Stability because real stability does not involve constantly maintaining a balance between two conflicting points.
My past Relationships always ended due to conflict / disagreement manifesting when we could no longer come to a compromise between both of our self interests / wants / needs / desires / preferences, or one or the other could no longer bring themselves to ‘follow the rules’, wherein we would start to manifest more conflict and arguments and become irritated with each other and would blame each other for not ‘giving me what I want / need / desire’ / not supporting my character, with each of us competing to try to ‘prove’ the validity / superiority of ‘my way / my point of view / my self interest’. So the relationship would end and I would be back to the search for another partner who would be more aligned with my self interest / wants / needs / desires / preferences.
Walking an Agreement has been a completely different experience. Because, from the beginning we took responsibility to agree on the common sense point that, we as human beings are here to take responsibility for Life, to support Life, to make sure that who we each are can stand in all situations, all scenarios, all realities, all systems, every moment, and always base the action we take on what will produce a world that is best for all Life – we are not here to accept each other’s self interest.
We agreed on the common sense point that as characters existing as points of self interest we cannot stand in every moment and do what is best for all, because – if who we are is self interest, then that’s what our actions will be based on – the pursuit of the fulfillment of self interest.
So, we agreed to walk an Agreement where we will live together, work together, supporting each other to stop our characters of self interest, and re-create ourselves as beings that can stand in every moment and always do what is best for all, always giving to each other what we would like for ourselves. Because, when you look at the world as a Whole, if we all agreed to give to each other everything we need to live effectively and fully – then that is obviously best for each individual as well because each individual will always have what they need and be supported.
Within this Agreement, we agreed that we must redefine the words we live, coming to Equal definitions that we can both Equally live and apply in assisting and supporting ourselves / each other to be able to identify in any given situation / scenario / moment the application that will have an outcome that is best for all.
So how does redefining words work? How does support in an Agreement work? What does it practically mean to Give to each other what we would like for ourselves in the context of the scenarios, situations, moments, circumstances that arise as two beings are walking their life in this world, in this money system?
In my next post I will walk an example scenario showing how two beings can transform conflict and confusion into clarity and equality.