This post is inspired by Activist’s Journey to Life post: Day 105: What Makes Us Human (Moomans?).
The character I’m looking at here is the character that says: “I can go into a relationship and have sex, therefore I have the right to have a child, because that’s what humans do, they have children and I am a human and so it is nature’s way that I can have my child and nature will ensure my child develops in the best way”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that just because I ‘naturally’ have the physiological ability to conceive and birth a child, that something called a ‘force of nature’ will just ‘take care of’ my child’s development — instead of realizing and seeing the obvious fact that parents — through and as the starting point of existing within and as their own accepted nature as beliefs, culture, religion, opinions, judgments, reactions, feelings, emotions, thoughts, secrets, lies, imagination, memories, are the ‘force’ that influences the nature of the child’s development into and as the nature they will accept of themselves
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that ‘human nature’ as thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, memories, desires, opinions, beliefs, secrets, lies, imagination, etc was not created by ‘Nature’, but was created by the individual through many breaths within which the human made many acceptances and allowances within themselves, to create the patterns that constitute the above described ‘human nature’ – as has been without a doubt proven extensively, specifically, and consistently by Destonians – those writing the Journey to Life Blogs and walking the Desteni I process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I experience a feeling I call ‘love’ toward another human being and go into a relationship with them, that this ‘feeling’ indicates I am ready to have children — instead of seeing and realizing that the feeling of love I experience toward another human being I have created myself through designing in my mind, over years of time and many breaths spent in participating in and creating thoughts, desires, beliefs, preferences, judgments, etc, wherein I then projected in my mind the ‘perfect mate’ as the object that stands as a conglomeration of symbols as physical appearance, physical movements, voice tonality, status, culture, language, name, opinions, beliefs, that represent the fulfillment of my desires, beliefs, preferences, judgments, etc — where, in my mind, from the initial starting point of accepting myself as an experience of loneliness, unfulfilment, sadness, fear – I created in my mind a character that would say all the things and do all the things that would give me the opposite experience of my initial starting point – as happiness, togetherness, love, safety, etc, along with the desire to have children / raise a family so I can feel like I am leaving something behind in this world when I die so I don’t feel insignificant and meaningless — and wherein then when I meet a person that is in close alignment with the character as ‘perfect mate’ I designed in my mind, I experience a ‘connection’ and feeling of ‘love’
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it was not ‘nature’ that was responsible for my desire for a relationship and children and my process of creating and projecting the ‘perfect mate’ in my mind, and thus was was not responsible for my experience of ‘love’ or my ‘urge’ to have children — I was responsible, I am responsible — I am the force of nature that created my nature as desire for relationship, children, and experience of love as the fulfillment of my desire based on my initial accepted starting point of fear, loneliness, sadness, unfulfilment, meaninglessness, etc
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that in spite of this clear evidence that I am the one who created my experience of love – not ‘nature’ – that the institutions of science and religion claim that ‘love’ is a ‘natural part of being human’ — showing that science and religion have absolutely no understanding of how the mind and human nature works, and thus exist as self deception — and that then from the starting point of this self deception, we bring children into this world, claiming that some invisible force of nature is responsible for the whole process of creating relationships and having children when we are the ones who created the process – we just weren’t aware of what we were doing because we were trained by our own parents and teachers to immediately believe that what we create in our mind as feelings, emotions, thoughts, pictures is ‘who we are’ — and then lost ourselves in our own minds, where all we could do was then copy what other human beings are doing / have done, because we had no other context in which to see ourselves
I my next post I will continue in expanding the Self Forgiveness on this point into the context of the Money System.