Day 56: Can Animals Feel my Love and Light?

So here I’m walking through my ‘spiritual experience’ within an event in which I was in a forest area in the mountains – part of a national park, and there were many small birds there and they started landing on my shoulder, on my hand, coming very close and landing by my feet. As the birds did this the experience I had in my thoughts and feelings was that the reason the birds are so comfortable landing on me / near me is that they can feel / recognize that I am a being who has realized my oneness with everything through our ‘shared essence’ of and as ‘love and light / god / creator / source’, and that my ‘positive, higher vibration’ of thoughts and visualizations and feelings of love and light and ‘connectedness with god’ made the birds feel safe. When I had these thoughts I, in my mind imagined that if I was a person with thoughts of stress, anger, etc, that was not experiencing feelings of love and light and oneness, then the birds would not be comfortable being near me because they would feel my ‘negative vibration / energy’ and would be scared off by it. I saw this event as like a point of ‘proof’ that I am ‘ascending’, interpreting the event of the birds landing on me as ‘my reality changing’ to a ‘higher vibration’ that matched my ‘higher vibration’ inside myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when some birds landed on me in a national park and I interpreted this event as ‘the birds are comfortable and feel safe around me because I think about love and light and feel a feeling of love’, I was interpreting the birds through and as the ‘ascending being of love and light’ character I had created through and as which I separated myself from the physical reality of what is in fact here into an energetic mind reality bubble as an alternate earth that existed according to my specifications of how it must exist in order for me to be / experience myself as an ‘ascending being love and light’ – wherein I made everything about ‘me’ and interpreted everything happening in the world as a point assisting me to experience love and light and ascension — wherein, I did not even realize / understand that birds land on people all the time in national parks because people feed the birds and the birds are born and raised and live their entire life around people who feed them and are thus comfortable around the people
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that thus when I felt good about myself / felt like I am ascending because I interpreted the birds landing on me as them landing on me because I was of a ‘higher vibration’ that they felt comfortable around – I was experiencing my own mind, my own beliefs, my own self idea, my own self definitions that I projected onto the birds — which was a point of ego / self interest where, just because ME, I, was experiencing a feeling, that it must be how reality works — even though I had not even taken the time to research bird behavior and what factors influence a bird’s comfortability around humans — I had given no regard whatsoever to the actual birds themselves — but saw them only through the eyes of my own self interest as the ‘ascending being / love and light’ character
Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the birds were not recognizing my ‘oneness’ with them, because I was in fact not here living in oneness with the birds at all – I was living in my mind in oneness with my own self beliefs and self definitions which was the only thing I was experiencing
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that, as I described in my last post on Tai Chi,  my feelings about the birds were my experience of my own beliefs and self definitions that could not be practically lived as actual reality here in the physical – where I created a virtual reality in my mind in which I experienced my beliefs and self definitions as feelings / energy which I then projected onto the actual physical reality and said ‘I am experiencing reality’ — when in fact I was not here experiencing / seeing / understanding / being equal and one with what is here as the birds — but was only experiencing / seeing my own experience of energy created through my own beliefs / self definitions – an experience that exists only in me within my own mind — and which, the birds would not experience because the birds did not program themselves with my beliefs / self definitions — thus I was in complete separation as ego in saying ‘the birds like me because I feel oneness / love and light’ — not at all understanding how the birds exist in fact, and what they experience — not even seeing and realizing that I was creating my feeling experience through interpreting the birds’ behavior through and as my ‘ascending being / love and light’ character — I was in fact less than my own feeling as I did not even see immediately how the feeling was created — because I had automated the feeling as a pattern as part of my ‘ascending being / love and light’ character where, I actually forgot that I had actually read stories about birds / animals landing on / being comfortable around religious saints, and included this within my idea of what it would be like to ‘be enlightened / raise my vibration to a higher vibration closer to god’ — wherein then when the birds landed on me I accessed this idea which I had made part of my ‘ascending being / love and light’ character, and then felt like the birds were landing on me because I had a ‘higher vibration’ 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an existence in which I am born into and programmed to see everything as only pictures based on my specific definitions / values / beliefs / self definitions — where what I experience is my own mind, what I see is my own mind, as my own beliefs, self definitions and values – not actually seeing and experiencing what is here as this physical universe in directly seeing / understanding / communicating with what is here as one and equal with me, as what it actually in fact is — but only seeing a picture and interpreting it according to my self definitions and beliefs — within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created such an existence because of my own acceptance of me as an experience of energy where then I allowed myself to exist as a system through which I separate myself from everything to not see / understand / communicate / experience what is here in fact anymore, but only see what is here as a picture – where I experience myself in friction with what is here as since I have accepted myself as energy I must now from this friction create my experience of myself as energy otherwise I will ‘not be experiencing myself’ and so I look at the pictures ‘out there’ and then project my self definitions and beliefs onto it giving the pictures and events that happen in the world positive or negative values according to whether it supports me to experience me as my self definitions / beliefs so that I can experience me as energy as what I have accepted myself to be / exist as through the interpretation of what is here which I experience as feelings and emotions — wherein, the birds landing on me was an event that I gave a positive value as interpretation / judgment according to my self definition / character that I created as the ‘ascending being / love and light being’ which included the idea that when birds / animals come near to you and are not scared away by you that means you are enlightened / godly — as I had read in the stories about religious saints
I commit myself to show how spirituality is a mindfuck that we use to make ourselves feel good through projecting beliefs and ideas about higher dimensions of god / love / light that we tell ourselves we are connected to, so that we can view the world with happiness / bliss / joy while telling ourselves all we need to do is experience our feelings because they come from god and we are here to feel good and that’s it — within this not taking responsibility to actually investigate what is going on in this reality and how this reality functions — because that would be something we have to move ourselves to do instead of just sitting back and creating beliefs and ideas about what is here to make ourselves feel good
I commit myself to show that spiritual people always firstly consider their interpretation through their self definitions and self beliefs and the feelings they experience as created by these beliefs and definitions, as the ‘real story’ of what is going on and how reality works — and how this is in fact ego, as only the individual is experiencing these beliefs and feelings and thus is not in fact experiencing what is here but is only experiencing themselves as a self created energy experience – but presenting themselves as if they are experiencing / understanding the functionality of what is here instead of just their own self created experience
I commit myself to show that while spiritual people are busy experiencing feelings created through beliefs and self definitions within their own mind as programmed by knowledge, stories, fantasies – people in actual reality are starving, existing in poverty, dying in wars, being raped, being raised / sold as sex slaves, animals are being abused for profit, nature is being destroyed for profit — events which all exist as a product of the human being’s neglect of life and consideration only of self interest – using, interpreting what is here according to what suits the person’s self definitions and beliefs — exactly the same as the spiritual person using / interpreting what is here according to self definitions and beliefs — instead of all here equally as one in and as the physical reality living together, working together in the interest of all as Life to create only things that support all life equal, living according to practical considerations that can actually be lived in the physical reality in support of life — not using this reality as a playground where those with money Spend all their time in their heads and in their feelings entertaining themselves as characters that create that make them feel like they are alive – while all the time they are neglecting life and not understanding even the basic point of how to provide food and support to all beings on earth equally
I commit myself to stop interpreting what is here through whatever beliefs and ideas make me feel good, and actually investigate how this reality works, which includes investigating how I have created all the characters in my mind – tracing each character back to its origin points, taking responsibility in this to investigate the consequences I’ve been accepting and allowing to exist in this world as a result of me existing as a character that does not consider or live in a way that produces what is best for all life
I commit myself to realize that I am not energy experiences as feelings and emotions and thoughts — I am a physical being here in the physical reality as earth / the physical universe and that as such I have a responsibility to take care of life because if I don’t, no one else will as it has already been proven that a loving god does not exist as evidenced by the existence of rape, war, starvation, poverty, animal abuse, and the destruction of nature and thus I commit myself to show how all feelings and thoughts and fantasies about god are deliberate self deception to hide in an experience of energy that feels nice, to try to avoid facing the shit we have created as this world through our self interest
I commit myself to establishing an equal money system on earth that supports all life equally and gives everyone the time and support required to effectively investigate how this reality functions including how their own mind functions so that we can get to know what is here for real instead of just feeling like we know what is here because we made up a belief and told ourselves it’s real

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