I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame an idea of ‘negative energy’ as the cause of the world’s problems, because when I saw the problems that exist in this world I felt useless to change them, I didn’t understand how, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I encountered spirituality and heard the message / explanation that ‘negative energy’ is the cause of the world’s problems, say to myself ‘this is the solution’, because I liked the the explanation given that the solution to the world’s problems is thus to ‘generate and participate in positive energy’
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that the reason I liked the message of ‘positive energy’ as the solution to the world’s problems, is because it was easy – I could do it right away by focusing on spiritual pictures, listening to spiritual music, surrounding myself with a spiritual lifestyle, imagining a heavenly world in my mind, and making myself feel good by telling myself that I am going to experience the heavenly, positive reality I see in my mind — it required no study about how the system works, how to design a way to feed everyone in the world, why war and conflict exists and how to practically stop it — these considerations did not enter my mind because I had already decided it was ‘useless’ to change the actual problems at the level of the system – so instead I gave myself completely to spirituality and to the idea that by imagining a heavenly world in my mind and making myself feel good, and presenting myself ‘positively’, I am ‘doing my part’ to create a new world, and that is all I can do
Within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that, the problems of this world are not in fact ‘negative energy’ — and that the ‘negative energy’ actually exists in myself – I am the one that experienced it in myself when I looked at the problems of this world
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that the problems of this world are of a physical nature – starvation, poverty, war, animal and nature abuse – and that they obviously require a physical, actual solution to be implemented in the form of a new system — because I actually see and understand that the world system I am currently in, is abusive, it allows abuse and I know it, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress what I actually see about this world, because the message of spirituality was so easy to accept, because all it required me to do is to use my imagination and make myself feel good – to exist in my own reality in my mind where I don’t have to see what is going on in this world
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that the one reason I am able to have my spiritual lifestyle, is money – because I have a job, money, free time, the ability to build a lifestyle for myself, I have the ability to ignore what is happening to everyone else – because I am protected by my money
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the actuality of my condition, which is that I am a person with money in this world, and to ignore the obvious fact that because I have money, I am able to exist in comfort, bliss, happiness, positive energy in my mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others within the idea that they are ‘negative’ as the cause of the world’s problems, and to within this, tell myself that ‘the solution to the world’s problems is thus to just stay positive and spread the message of positivity because in this I am helping to ‘uplift’ more and more human beings into positivity, and eventually the world will change when enough people are ‘positive’ — and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that I am not in fact using my time here on Earth in dedication to coming to an actual solution for the current world system, but I am just waiting – waiting for the rest of the world to ‘catch up to my positivity’ – and in me accepting myself to exist within such a starting point of waiting, I am allowing all the problems of the world to continue
And how long will it take? By the end of 2012 will enough people be ‘positive’ that the world will change? Will it take another 20 years? 50 years? 100 years? 1000 years? Am I going to wait the rest of my life, spending my time being ‘positive’ while the world’s problems continue? Am I going to get to the end of my life, still hoping, still expecting, still dreaming, still imagining that when I die I am going to be ‘free’ of this world? How do I know I am not going to still be here, facing what exists in this world, when I die? If I don’t in fact see what awaits me after death – am I not then using my time here as a gamble? Am I not playing a game of chance, hoping for the chance that when I die I will go to some heavenly place, away from the suffering of others I see in this world? What will I do if I am still here? How will I apply myself? If I meet god after death, and I ask him how much longer must beings suffer on Earth, how much longer until all become ‘positive’ – what will he say? Have I not already received the answer in the message of spirituality? Does not the message of spirituality tell me to ‘not worry’, and that ‘everything is perfect’, and that ‘I need not pay attention to the problems of the world’? What is god doing? What is the point of positivity when it does not give me the ability to sort out the world at a practical level? What is the point of positivity when it has not given me any insight into how to in fact have a new system that supports everyone with providing for all basic living needs?
2012 must be the year of questions – the year we shift our attention from the spiritual experience we desire to have, to our actual starting point of ourselves. It is through self questioning, and the application of self honesty, that I have come to the realizations I’ve had, and it is through self forgiveness, as in the examples above, that I have been able to release myself from my fear of the world, and with common sense, re-evaluate what is the practical way to live that considers what is best for everyone. Because, what is the point of spirituality? Is for the individual to have a nice feeling experience and dream of fun realities in the mind? Or should it be to dedicate oneself to doing whatever it takes to bringing about a new world that supports everyone equally, to live – in honor of the equal spirit of Life in all?