“Won’t drinking suppress my mind so I can temporarily experience my true self to some degree?”
Understand that although ‘who you really are’ – which is who you really could be, is not the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions. However, you’ve, through many breaths, and many moments of acceptance and allowance, created yourself to exist AS the mind – and your mind exists IN you, AS you – thus, thus mind IS your ‘true self’ at the moment – from the perspective that, the real ‘truth’ of you is your thoughts, your backchat, your desires, your emotions, your feelings – because that is what you are accepting and allowing yourself to exist as.
The only reason we as humans tend to view the mind as being something separate from ‘my true self’ – is because we aren’t AWARE of HOW and WHERE, and WHY we have created, accepted, and allowed each thought, each feeling, each emotion, each reaction – the patterns that direct us in our daily experience. Thus within this unawareness the tendency is to participate in things like drugs, meditation, drinking, to ‘quiet the mind’ – to ‘get away’ from the mind for a moment, and in the ‘getting away’, we perceive that we are ‘close to our true self’. But the reality is, the mind is still the truth of who you are at the moment – because, when you are no longer drunk, or no longer on drugs, or no longer meditating – your mind as thoughts, reactions, feelings, emotions, floods back. Thus for a moment drinking may assist you to relax, but understand that the relaxation is only a result of a momentary suppression of yourself, a dulling of yourself, wherein you enter a ‘blissful euphoria’, and ‘relief’ because of a chemical effect on your body. And, ask yourself, is a momentary chemical induced experience of relief, wherein you do not have to face what exists in you and can ‘relax’ – really your ‘true self’?
Therefore I suggest to simply be aware of the fact that, to actually get to know who you really could be, you will have to first walk a process of getting to understand how you’ve created yourself to exist as the mind – you’ll actually have to become aware of what your mind is and how you’ve created yourself as it. This is why we work with breathing, writing, self honesty, self forgiveness — because these are the practical tools you can apply in uncovering the actual origin points of your experience of yourself as the mind. Thus, Desteni isn’t about ‘following a gospel’ — it’s about developing self honesty with yourself, through your actual self movement, through your actual self directed self application – with the common sense self-goal being to stop being a slave to energy that directs you through patterns of thoughts, reactions, feelings, emotions – so you can actually be here, stable, constant, living and expressing and enjoying yourself in every moment – so that you don’t have to find ways of ‘getting a momentary experience of relaxation’ — because there will be nothing to hide from, nothing to ‘cope with’. With regard to ‘happiness’ — happiness / sadness is a feeling / emotion polarity – one comes with the other — we look for an experience of ‘happiness’ because we in fact don’t like being with ourselves, don’t like facing the truth of who we are as the mind, the truth of our inner experience — we look for someone / something to ‘give us’ a ‘better experience’, because we don’t know how to give ourselves an experience of ourselves that we can actually live with.
Do I ‘feel happy’? No, I don’t. Because I no longer require to search for a ‘feeling experience’ — because I have, through my application, assisted and supported myself to sort myself out so that I can stand here, with myself, facing myself as the totality of who I am in every moment, and not want to run away from myself, not want someone or something to ‘save me’ — because, I have learned to save myself. I no longer require a ‘feeling’ to ‘feel alive’, or ‘feel okay’, or ‘feel like I can enjoy myself more’ — because, I enjoy myself, I live, I express myself, I accept myself, I love myself, I care for myself, I support myself. And in this, I’ve been able to actually enjoy myself with other beings, not from a starting point of wanting, needing, desiring something from them, because I’ve given myself that which I used to desire from another.